back back back to India

five more days left in Kathmandu, and I am about to embark on yet another adventure. It's beginning to feel like the minute I get settled somewhere, then I am off again! There have been countless transitions, goodbyes, new friends, and the nervous excitement that comes with arriving in a new place, wide eyed and ready to take it all in.

I depart for Kolkata (Calcutta) on Monday. Something I have been planning since I left Seattle, LAST SUMMER, and yet another place that seems, to say the least, a little terrifying. I have had Kolkata in the back of my mind for months on end now, and through some random connections and advice have found myself drawn there, for some reason.

I fly into the city Monday afternoon, with little more than a few words from acquaintances and a name of the place I am to go. I will be undertaking another role as a traveler, volunteer, to spend some time at the Missionaries of Charity House in the city. There are many scattered around India, but the house in Kolkata (Calcutta) is the original, and a sort of "headquarters," which was established by Mother Theresa in the 1950's. There was controversy over these houses originally for the Catholic influence in a predominantly Hindu Nation, but the work they do has slowly been well renowned for taking in the poorest of the poor, and giving them a safe place to be as they pass on into the next life.
They take volunteers at any time, some stay for a day, some for a week, some for months at a time. Honestly, I have little idea of what I am getting myself into, or what exactly I will be doing with my time there. There are three different houses spread around the city; one which houses the destitute and dying, and one for babies and orphans, people with HIV/AIDs, and soup kitchens. Sounds glamorous, no? I will be there for about three weeks, with only a few short plans to hop up to Darjeeling for the weekend, and possibly a side trip to Bangladesh for a few days.
I have no idea what to expect, other than the overwhelming poverty, distress, and corruption running rampant in much of India. Kolkata is the third largest city, with over 15 million people inhabiting every crevice, and from what I have gathered, is not too pretty. It is the capital of West Bengal, on the North Eastern Coast bordering Bangladesh.
Why, why am I going there you might ask? Why would I even subject myself to this? Well, these questions tumble around my mind all the time, believe me, but I guess it's just another one of those moments when I am searching for a humbling experience. To jump in and do the little tiny bit that I can, to either put a smile on someones face, or give an ear to hear their stories and share mine. I have found the most empowering and equally shattering experiences are those when we become the most vulnerable, the most challenged, and the most out of place in our lives.
Kolkata is not exactly a tourist hub for most tourists who travel to India and stick to the Northern loop around Rajasthan and the Taj Mahal. It's a place where people sleep in the middle of the street, women wearing saris sweep up the garbage we discard at their feet, men with thinner limbs than mine peddle rickshaws stacked with the weight of travelers and families, and people missing limbs scoot across the sidewalk in front of speeding traffic, riding on wheels and with a tin filled with coins.

Needless to say, I am not only a little terrified to take on the roll of "backpacker" yet again, and to leave the confines of the little family and bubble I have found in Kathmandu, but to be back in the big old mess of India, once again. Full force. Not to mention I will be arriving during the peak of the summer months where temperatures top 40 C, or over 100 F. With a limited ward rode, white skin, and as a solo female this also means my style is not only compromised, but for my own sanity and safety I have to remain covered at all times. That means no tank tops in the sweltering heat, but pants and shoulders covered.
Maybe I just need to mentally prepare myself for this kind of experience, although I'm not sure if you ever can. This will be one of those times in my life when I seriously question this decision, maybe everyday, but have to take every challenge in stride and recognize that when I depart it will be something deeply ingrained in the way I live my life from here on out. It will be one of those experiences that really shakes you to the core, and potentially makes you question everything you are doing in life. It will be one of those earth shattering moments when you realize how massive the worlds problems are, and how small we each are as individuals. Alas, yea I said alas for lack of a better word, I am also hoping it will be one of those extremely challenging, but positive times in my life because I will walk away with something I never had before; another amazing memory, and a new perspective on the contrast of how we are all living in this big gigantic world.

So after this whirlwind of a few weeks in one of the poorest cities in the world, to mentally settle myself down, I fly to Bangkok for three weeks to explore the beautiful land of Thailand. I could not be more excited for this part of my trip, as much as for the slow transition into making my way home, as for the delicious cuisine, beautiful beaches, and incredible landscapes. As I wind down this adventure of a lifetime, two months is going to fly by in a heartbeat, but in the time traveling world of backpacking a few months really equates a lifetime.

So for now, all I can do is keep running and riding around Kathmandu like a maniac trying to finish all those last minute things I never did, the last minute shopping for gifts, and the last meals with friends new and old. The nearer I get to departing Asia and returning to the US, the more terrified I get, there are literally days on a calendar you can count, now. BUT, I am also equally excited to be back on my own solid ground and around those I love, who I left so long ago. I am also excited to pull myself together again, you have no idea how much Nepal can wear you down after a few months of living in the one of the worlds most polluted cities. Sometimes I feel like I am falling apart as a person, not to mention as a woman. I dream about drinking water out of the tap and breathing the refreshing delicious air of the Pacific Northwest. The things we miss when away, I could write a book about it.

Keep me in your thoughts as I vanish into India, once again, and don't be shy to send me an email, even if it's just to say hi. It really helps.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me anytime. And for all of you who never did set up skype, shame shame shame. Now I will not have it anymore, and the only contact I will have to the outside world as of Monday is in seedy cyber cafes down dark alleyways, with sketchy, albeit very slow connections. Basically, I will talk to you when I have an area code again, and we sleep in the same time zone.

So until then,

peace.
-S