more monkeys.

As many of you ask lately, since this has become a normal question for me, "How are those monkeys treatin you?" Well I thought I would update ya'll on the happenings at my abode.

The monkeys are back in full force!

It has almost become a regular occurrence, of sorts, around here. I feel like almost everyday I have a sighting of the monkeys at least.

Last week - who knows what day it was because time doesn't really exist here-I was in the shower, singing at the top of my lungs like usual, and I started to hear some noises. Telling myself to just enjoy this window of luke warm shower water, I thought nothing of it and kept singing. Our walls are pretty thin, so usually you can hear some odd noises coming from the flats above and below us. As I stepped out of the shower, my hair dripping wet onto the floor and my body covered in a skimpy travel towel I am using, I saw two monkeys sitting in my kitchen! Sitting there like nobodies business, there they were, just chillin and munching on my ripe tomatoes.

Freaked out of course, I ran into the bathroom looking for a weapon. Finding nothing, I grabbed a window cleaner and flung it into the kitchen. Using my best yelling voice I tried telling them to get the f$%* out of my house. Do monkeys really listen to a girl wearing a towel? NO is the answer.And you all know my loudest yelling voice, is well, probably not very loud.

So there they sat chomping away, while I continued to drip water on the floor and yell. They finally started to move a little bit, and as I ran back into the bathroom to hide I peeked through the window that is directly opposite to the kitchen window. One of them looked me right in the eye, grabbed a bag of chips, shook its tail and slowly meandered back out the window. Like, "yea I own this. These are my chips, thank you very much."

I slammed all the windows, but to my horror, they still wanted to hang out.
Sitting right outside my window on the ledge below, there they were playing in a pile of flour and still eating tomatoes.



They eventually migrated to the trees, and continued spilling our food all over the place. My friend, who had come over right in the middle of my mayhem as I ran around the house in a towel, decided we should throw stuff at them. Stuff, meaning the food they had strewn around my kitchen floor. With our sharp shooter aim we started chucking more tomatoes at them. One literally sat there, and with his tail upright put his paw in the air and made the, come hither motion. As if saying, yea that's right, bring it on. Totally provoking us. Can you believe that?



After this incident, and since I was home alone for this once, has left me a little bit on edge...like insomnia, and nightmares where I wake up in the middle of the night screaming MONKEY. I might be kidding, but really. I took a nap the other afternoon, and woke up after the sun had gone down. So waking up in the middle of the load shedding hours (power cut) to a pitch dark house, I could hear some noises in the kitchen. Thinking my roommate was gone for the evening, panic mode switched on. I convinced myself that she had the window open again, and that the monkeys were back causing a ruckus. I lit a candle, and just as they would do in the dark ages, slowly poked my head through the door practically on all fours, and ready to throw hot candle wax into their eyes. My heart was thumping out of my chest, and I was about to pounce...when I realized it was my roommate cooking dinner.

She was so quite and stealthy with the pots and pans, I could have sworn it was a monkey. Too embarrassed to tell her, I quickly stood upright and smoothed my nap-py hair aside, and greeted her as if nothing had happened.

Is this the kind of paranoia that starts to creep in when you have been living alone too long with 37 cats? Like that crazy cat lady who goes on edge anytime she thinks someone might be there to catnap one of her babies. I'm not like that, right?......right?

So yes, I have monkeys in my tree, monkeys in my kitchen, and monkeys in my flour.

That's it. I swear I'm getting a slingshot.